An Assembly I'd Rather Miss

Last night as I was watching Inside the Actor's Studio on Bravo, a commercial from the Arlington Assembly of God came on. In it, a man claims to have been sexually abused as a child and then to have tried "the gay lifestyle" -- but, he says, he still didn't like himself. Eventually, he turned to God, and now he's straight. The Washington Blade has already reported on this commercial -- in an article by Katherine Volin, the church's pastor, Lynn Carter, is quoted as saying, "This is a new ad that we're doing just to let folks know that we love 'em and that we care about them" -- but it was the first time I'd seen it myself.

It's galling that the church would buy time during a show with such an obvious appeal to . . . well, theater queens. And on a cable channel that also carries Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, among other gay-friendly shows. Okay, so the church wants to reach gay people -- that would be a good way to do it: Get them where they gather. Bravo has every right to sell ad time to anyone who can pay for it. And certainly there are self-loathing or conflicted or fragile gay people among the fans of the show in which we get to learn what Charlize Theron's, Kevin Spacey's, and Michael J. Fox's favorite curse words are and what sounds they most love and hate in the world.

What's the adjective I'm searching for to describe the Arlington Assembly of God's motives in airing the commercial when it did? Opportunistic? Predatory? And to describe Bravo? Hypocritical? Two-faced? Maybe just depressing. That goes for both of 'em.