O Tannenbaum
Other than my junior year abroad 28 years ago -- when I spent Christmas with friends in a storybook village in the Black Forest of Germany -- last night was the first time in my life, whether I was single or in a relationship, that I didn't spend at least part of the evening of December 24 with my parents.
Last year, their first in assisted living, it was an early evening, but it was an evening. This year, they both need to be reminded that it's Christmas. We didn't do any formal gift exchange, last night or today, and that was a very good thing -- no confusion, simpler, more peaceful.
Christmas Eve meant an afternoon visit from me and one of my sisters and her husband, with cookies and hot cider (both a little too complicated for Mom and Dad -- all that powdered sugar on their fingers and lips, the strangeness of . . . hot juice?). No visible recognition of the German carols I played on CD, the ones we've listened to all my life: "Es Ist ein Ros Entsprungen" ("Lo, How a Rose E'er Blooming"), "Ihr Kinderlein Kommet" (Come Ye Little Children"). We try to preserve what needles still cling to the tree.
So last night I was home by 6:30. I made dinner for D. at my place. Another first: Christmas Eve dinner cooked for someone other than blood kin. Baked Thai-style tofu (this person likes the same recipe) with brown rice, a salad, wine, and hot fudge pudding cake.
The candlelight, the company, the music (a CD of German carols D. made for me), and the meal made for a lovely and warm evening. To tell you the truth, it was wonderful.
In a way, it felt like my first truly grownup Christmas Eve. And for better and worse, it won't be the last.
posted by Billy at 10:05 PM
2 Comments:
It sounds perfect.
I have experienced many kinds of Christmases, from those of my domestic goddess sister-in-law, who outdoes Martha Stewart, Norman Rockwell, and Charles Dickens in a spirit of such joyousness in giving that it inspires everyone in the family into sweetness and generosity of spirit to volunteer work through the DC Jewish Community Center followed by Chinese food and a movie. Yesterday was one of the best ever. Like you, we began in an assisted living facility with a frail parent who had turned 80 the night before, very low-key, no gifts, just quiet talk and some phone calls to absent family. A plane ride later, we ended up at home, eating, yes, Chinese food, all four of our own family under the same roof, catching up and making plans for our few days together. It made me very happy. Much love to you and D.
i'm glad your first christmas eve without your parents was pleasant.
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