Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Teamgirls

I finally joined my friend J tonight for trivia night at JR's, where his brother is the host. Our team -- which took on five or six additional members, mostly friends and friends of friends of J's, as the four rounds went on -- came in third out of an initial field of about fourteen and won a $25 bar tab, which I'm unlikely to partake of anytime soon. (I'm pretty sure the last time I was in JR's was 1990.) It was a fun evening, but there's no way I will step in there again before the smoking ban takes effect in January. I can't remember the last time I was surrounded by so many smokers. What was this, 1955? It was truly revolting.

The good news, besides the third-place finish, is the team name I was instrumental in coming up with. After a short period of brainstorming, J and I married a famous
Dreamgirls moment with a favorite recent Ask Amy* column and dubbed ourselves And I'm Telling You the Crack of Your Ass Is Showing.
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*I see that my memory changed "butt" to "ass," but the latter term worked far better in the gay-bar-trivia-night context anyway. Since it seems you have to register now to read Amy's column in most online papers, I'll reprint the inspirational Q&A here:

Dear Amy:

My husband and I recently ate at a local restaurant. Shortly after our food arrived, two attractive young women, probably in their mid-to-upper-twenties, were seated at a nearby table.

When the girl with her back to me sat down, her butt crack was clearly displayed, about two inches of it. Not what I expected to see in a restaurant!

I debated whether or not to say something to a waiter, but I thought that to do so might embarrass the woman, so as we left the restaurant I leaned over and whispered to her, "In case you don't know, your butt crack is showing." To which she loudly responded, "How very rude!"

I wanted to agree with her and say, "Yes, it is very rude," but I decided that obviously she didn't see it as a problem, so I left.

How would you have dealt with this situation?

Ann

I'm of a mind that the only time to point out a wardrobe issue or malfunction to strangers is if you suspect that they aren't already aware of it.

Your pointing out that this person's backside was exposed is somewhat like saying to Janet Jackson, "Excuse me Miss Jackson, but your top seems to have 'malfunctioned.' "

Perhaps you should have said, "I haven't enjoyed having to look at your backside" -- you seem to prefer other terminology -- "all during dinner." To which she would have replied, "How rude!" Then you could say, "I agree."

Then you could leave the restaurant feeling exactly as you do now.

The good news is that low-rise jeans are soooo last season. This unfortunate fashion trend won't last much longer.

2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh dear.

I just bought some low rise cord pants. But then, here, it takes about two years to catch up with you sophisticated city types by which time our "this season" is so your last season.

The pants look hot, though.

6:42 PM  
Blogger dykewife said...

something i haven't figured out yet is why do people make fun of the plumber whose ass crack is on display while he's working, but no one mentions anything when it's a girl's ass crack on display?

i'm so looking forward to this particular style leaving. i don't have the body to wear that style and it's hard to get anything else.

3:44 AM  

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