"Three Queers and a Hot Chick"
No, that's not the name of a new sitcom on NBC's fall schedule. The line was uttered by a straight doofus as Diablo, Vuboq, Tomokito, and I walked along I Street toward Cafe Asia tonight after the Capital Pride parade. We each were wearing some of those colored plastic beads they toss out at gay events. Diablo had the lovely additional accessory of a synthetic lei around his neck. This was many blocks away from where the parade had taken place, so our bead-and-lei-bedecked cohort weren't anywhere in the vicinity.
"Three queers and a hot chick -- hyuh hyuh hyuh."
When we got inside the restaurant, I made a comment, half in jest, about how I hadn't been "gay-bashed" in a long time. Vuboq said, "That wasn't gay-bashing. That was ignorance."
As I said, I wasn't totally serious about my gay-bashing remark -- I know this wasn't Matthew Shepard territory or anything near it. And I do see Vuboq's point: It was an ignorant comment from an ignorant person. But I personally categorize a remark like that somewhere between mere ignorance and serious gay-bashing.
The words were hostile. They could have been far worse, and they didn't really rattle me, but they did surprise me. After all, Washington's a pretty gay city. I can remember only one other occasion when I was called a homophobic name since I've been an adult -- and it was long before I was out of the closet. I was in my early twenties, walking to a theater on 14th Street (when 14th Street was still pretty sketchy and long before it had become a "theater district") with a high-school friend (now a priest). It was raining, so we were sharing an umbrella, and a man called us "faggots" as we walked by.
That's it. Not including too-numerous-to-count incidents of being called faggot* or queer as a kid, that's the only time I've experienced anything close to gay-bashing. I'm lucky. But I do think words like the ones we heard tonight are used with hostility. So I take back what I said before. It did rattle me.
I don't feel particularly endangered where I live, but reminders of how uncomfortable some still are with gay people (in many cases, of course, signifying how uncomfortable they are with parts of themselves) throw me back to the past even as they make me look forward to the future. The doofus's kind are a dying breed. Of that I feel sure. The only question is how long the death rattle will last.
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* By the way, I don't think there should be some sort of ban on using words like faggot in discourse about the words, as some have suggested in recent months. They're words. When not being used to hurt people, they're simply part of our language. How will we talk about them if we don't use the words? Oh, I know -- with childish euphemisms like "the f-word" and "the n-word." That always strikes me as a kind of verbal cowering. Talk about letting the enemy win.
"Three queers and a hot chick -- hyuh hyuh hyuh."
When we got inside the restaurant, I made a comment, half in jest, about how I hadn't been "gay-bashed" in a long time. Vuboq said, "That wasn't gay-bashing. That was ignorance."
As I said, I wasn't totally serious about my gay-bashing remark -- I know this wasn't Matthew Shepard territory or anything near it. And I do see Vuboq's point: It was an ignorant comment from an ignorant person. But I personally categorize a remark like that somewhere between mere ignorance and serious gay-bashing.
The words were hostile. They could have been far worse, and they didn't really rattle me, but they did surprise me. After all, Washington's a pretty gay city. I can remember only one other occasion when I was called a homophobic name since I've been an adult -- and it was long before I was out of the closet. I was in my early twenties, walking to a theater on 14th Street (when 14th Street was still pretty sketchy and long before it had become a "theater district") with a high-school friend (now a priest). It was raining, so we were sharing an umbrella, and a man called us "faggots" as we walked by.
That's it. Not including too-numerous-to-count incidents of being called faggot* or queer as a kid, that's the only time I've experienced anything close to gay-bashing. I'm lucky. But I do think words like the ones we heard tonight are used with hostility. So I take back what I said before. It did rattle me.
I don't feel particularly endangered where I live, but reminders of how uncomfortable some still are with gay people (in many cases, of course, signifying how uncomfortable they are with parts of themselves) throw me back to the past even as they make me look forward to the future. The doofus's kind are a dying breed. Of that I feel sure. The only question is how long the death rattle will last.
_______________
* By the way, I don't think there should be some sort of ban on using words like faggot in discourse about the words, as some have suggested in recent months. They're words. When not being used to hurt people, they're simply part of our language. How will we talk about them if we don't use the words? Oh, I know -- with childish euphemisms like "the f-word" and "the n-word." That always strikes me as a kind of verbal cowering. Talk about letting the enemy win.
posted by Billy at 10:35 PM
6 Comments:
i don't use "f-word" or "n-word" though i don't call people faggots or niggers, i refuse to use euphemisms for them. using a euphemism in an attempt to remove their power only gives them more power. i simply don't use the words at all.
Come to think of it, this may have been the first time I've been called a homophobic name as an adult. And, I think it would have been a more disturbing experience had one of us been walking alone. Strength in numbers.
And, a minor grammar question: You typed doofus's, but is doofus' also correct? I'm always confused about which to use, but lean towards the latter. Is one more correct than the other? Or does it depend on individual preference?
Either is acceptable, depending on the publication you're writing for or the stylebook you follow. I think "apostrope s" for all singular possessives, even with words ending in "s" is probably more common (and is my strong preference). It is, for instance, the style the Washington Post and the publication I work for use. Just an apostrophe should be reserved for plurals ending in "s."
Agh, those "doofus's" were ugly. I pity them. I sometimes face ignorant or hostile words on the street because I'm an Asian. They say something in fake Chinese, or more directly "Go back to your country!" Once this guy intentionally directed fart on me! I pity them. I just hope that the words will not turn into action.
Dumbass str8 guys were just jealous. They can't figure out why hot chicks hang out with gays - doesn't occur to them to wonder if they could maybe, you know, be more charming. Or stop staring at the damn rack already. Or cut out the wolf whistles. Or something.
Happy Pride anyway!
If bashing is insulting someone, than yes it was bashing.
Whatever the circumstances, if a person is saying something that I consider to be negative, I always go by the intonation in which it was delivered.
Why they do it? As Vuboq says, strength in numbers.
But....*their numbers* is more accurate, they wouldn't say anything if on their own. They (jerks like that) are all chickenshit without their buddies.
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