Revelations
Getting to those questions in random order and with long gaps in between . . .
Dykewife asked: "If you had the opportunity to change one event in your entire life, what would that be, why would you change it and what do you think the end results would have been?"
I would have come out of the closet -- both to myself and to others -- at least five years sooner than I did (which was at age 28).
I would change that event because it would give me at least five more years of learning to live both fully in my body and alive to my true spirit.
The end results would have been that I most likely would have experienced the same missteps and joys that I have, only five years earlier. I would have met different people and had different relationships -- not to mention, perhaps, different reactions to my revelation, some of them maybe less accepting. So it is neither good nor bad that this event didn't happen back then. It would have led to a different life than the one that I have had, and that has made me who I am. The fact that I acknowledge that doesn't change the fact that I often find myself wishing it had happened sooner.
I don't actually regret my life or most of the choices I've made. But you asked, and that's my truthful answer.
In a physical world, to feel that one's desire
Is too difficult to tell from despair.
Dykewife asked: "If you had the opportunity to change one event in your entire life, what would that be, why would you change it and what do you think the end results would have been?"
I would have come out of the closet -- both to myself and to others -- at least five years sooner than I did (which was at age 28).
I would change that event because it would give me at least five more years of learning to live both fully in my body and alive to my true spirit.
The end results would have been that I most likely would have experienced the same missteps and joys that I have, only five years earlier. I would have met different people and had different relationships -- not to mention, perhaps, different reactions to my revelation, some of them maybe less accepting. So it is neither good nor bad that this event didn't happen back then. It would have led to a different life than the one that I have had, and that has made me who I am. The fact that I acknowledge that doesn't change the fact that I often find myself wishing it had happened sooner.
I don't actually regret my life or most of the choices I've made. But you asked, and that's my truthful answer.
*
The greatest poverty is not to liveIn a physical world, to feel that one's desire
Is too difficult to tell from despair.
-- Wallace Stevens, "Esthétique du Mal"
*
If you want to keep a secret, you must also hide it from yourself.-- George Orwell, 1984
posted by Billy at 10:20 PM
1 Comments:
My beloved uncle, someone I miss every day, used to quote the Amish saying: "We grow too soon old and too late smart." But whatever path you took to where you are, I am grateful for everything that made you who you are, and I especially appreciate the way you are able to accept the lessons learned without dwelling on regret, requiring rare balance and wisdom.
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